≈ Stuff White People Like

De link van de dag is toch wel Stuff White People Like. Een bloemlezing:

  • #70 Difficult Breakups: The suffering of heartbreak is universal, but it is important to be aware that white people thrive during these trying times. If you play your cards right, you can parlay these moments into future favors and valuable trust.

    The majority of white person art is created after a difficult breakup; films, indie music, and poetry are all kicked into high production during the end of a relationship. This helps train white people to prepare for the pain that is coming.

    Once breakup proceedings have been initiated, a white person is immediately thrust into the center of attention in their circle of friends. During this time, they are permitted to talk at great lengths about themselves, listen to The Smiths, and get free dinners from friends who think “they shouldn’t be alone right now.”

    It is imperative that you do not attempt to kick them out of their misery by saying things like “get over it,” “there are other people out there,” or “I don’t want to read your poem.” Implying that there things in the world more important to you than their breakup is considered one of the rudest actions possible.

  • #67 Standing Still at Concerts: Music is very important to white people. It truly is the soundtrack to their lives, meaning that white people are constantly thinking about what songs would be on the soundtrack for the biopic. The problem is that most of the music that white people like isn’t really dance-friendly. More often the songs are about pain, or love, or breaking up with someone, or not being able to date someone, or death.

    So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you.

  • #50 Irony: If you need to appear cool to white people, you just need to pick something that was popular 10+ years ago and put it in a prominent place at your desk or in your home. A C+C Music Factory Cassette, or a “2 Legit 2 Quit” t-shirt would both be acceptable examples.
  • #47 Arts Degrees: But the real reason white people need these degrees is so that they can sound smart at parties. Of course it trickles down to making connections, getting hired, knowing rich people, and so forth. But ultimately it all begins by saying “reading Henry James was the most rewarding part of undergrad.”

Heerlijk.

February 19th, 2008  |  Published in ≈ Terzijdes
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Welkom op de persoonlijke website van Stijn F. Ik heb geschiedenis gestudeerd aan de Universiteit Gent en ik werk als journalist voor het financieel-economische weekblad Trends. Ik schrijf voornamelijk over technologie(bedrijven) en supermarkten.

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